What if you could ask four simple questions and instantly know if someone was a potential soul mate, or a dud date? Now, there’s a scientific way to weed out the incompatible dates from those who have true soul mate potential.
It’s called the LoveType system, based on over 50 years of research with Jungian personality types, and the most popular personality test in the world–the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®).
Back in 1999, I wrote LoveTypes (Avon Books, 1999), and started a new revolution in dating where singles could determine their own romantic personality style–their LoveType–and then unmask the people they were dating, to find a compatible partner.
Over the years, I’ve accumulated a lot more data and research, and have fine-tuned the LoveType system down to what I call The Four Magic Questions–four simple, subtle, everyday questions you can ask to determine instant compatibility.
The four magic questions you can ask a potential mate are:
1. QUESTION ONE: What do you do for fun in your spare time? If they like to party and socialize a lot, they’re Extraverts–people who get energy from their own thoughts. If they like to stay home, think, meditate, listen to music, and watch movies, they’re likely Introverts–they get energy primarily from their own thoughts.
Hot Love Tip: Female Extraverts Be Wary of Male Introverts: Research shows that female Extraverts and male Introverts have the most problems in chores, finances, children, communication, and sex. This is a nontraditional combination (she’s outspoken, and he’s quiet), and can cause problems if they don’t respect each other’s style.
2. QUESTION TWO: What would you do if you won $10 million? If they would use it to change the world, do something really creative or imaginative (like find the cure for cancer, go the Himalayas and write the Great American Novel, or start a holistic senior citizen center in India), they are likely the Intuitive (Imaginative type). If they would save and invest, or enjoy the money on sensual pleasures like traveling, fine dining, and partying, they are likely the Sensor (or more practical, sensory types).
Hot LoveTip: Find Someone Similar to You On This Dimension: Research show that 70% of happily couples are the same or similar on this dimension–either both are Sensors (practical) or both are Intuitives (imaginative). This personality dimension accounts for many important issues, such as life perspective, values, interests, passions, sex, children, and money.
3. QUESTION THREE: What’s your favorite movie and why do you like it? If they liked a movie because of the special effects, the direction, the plot, and because it made them think, they’re likely Thinkers–they make decisions primarily with their logic and analysis. If they loved a movie because of the relationships, and it made them feel and cry, they’re likely Feelers–they make decision primarily with their heart–with what they feel is right.
Hot Love Tip: Speak Your Partner’s Feeling or Thinking Communication Style: Any combination can work here (even a female Thinker with a male feeler), but the key is to speak and understand the other person’s communication style. Feelers value words of affirmation, empathy, and a partner who focuses on the emotional aspects of a relationship. Thinkers value intellectual compatibility, respect, and enjoy debate, witty repartee, and even sarcasm (which can hurt the more sensitive Feeler).
4. QUESTION FOUR: If a friend invited you to Vegas tomorrow (or your favorite vacation spot), and you had to work, would you go? If they say, “Hell, yeah, my bags are already packed,” they’re the Perceiver (Spontaneous), go with flow type. If they say, “no,” or “I have to check my schedule,” they’re the Judger (structured) type who has to plan everything out.
Hot Love Tip: Pick a Partner Like You, Or Respect His or Her Style: In this personality dimension, couples can have a lot of conflicts if a) they’re very different, and b) they don’t respect each other’s style. This dimension can affect issues of time (Perceivers are always late, Judgers are always on time), schedules, neatness and organization, money, children, commitment, and even sex. One Judger (structured) partner drafted a premarital agreement, in which one of the clauses included sex: “Henceforth, after marriage, we shall have sex three times per week, between 8 to 10 pm, Eastern Standard time.” Too structured for you? It can be a problem in a relationship if you’re with a very different person on this dimension, and you don’t respect each other’s styles.
By learning the four magic questions, you can weed out the incompatible types, and focus on the ones most likely to be compatible with you in a happy long-term relationship. Of course, there are other factors to consider–physical attraction, similar religion and values, desiring children, and so forth. But, by beginning with one of the most important foundations for relationship success–personality compatibility–you are well on your way to finding your soul mate. For more information, you can take your free LoveType quiz at www.lovetypes.com, and meet likeminded people who share your LoveType interests.