Because We Should All Be Having Sex with Somebody We Love
They say most people admit to masturbating and the rest of them are lying through their teeth. They also say that men are more likely to jingle their Pringles than women, but modern science has proven them wrong with recent discoveries about female sexuality. Now more than ever before in the history of our species, though, people from both sides of the fence are cumming together in new, exciting and completely unique ways. MyMasturbation.com is designed to be the central hub for the world’s most erotic jerk-off stories, with a little something sprinkled in for just about everybody walking the planet today. Sound too good to be true? It probably is. Why don’t you search our annuls and prove us wrong?
Besides, the Opportunities Are Endless
Either way you look at it and no matter what gender you identify with, fiddling the ferret is a pastime we all know, love and respect (for the most part). Social stigmas still exist these days but it’s nothing like it was in the past. Back then, the best masturbation stories consisted of old bread loaves and dildos carved out of stone – shadow puppets on the wall, more or less. Homemade fifis are finally regaining popularity thanks to the taboos being lifted. Meanwhile, the industry’s best male sex toys are drastically changing the way we all enjoy intercourse, masturbation and foreplay with our partners. Oh, what a time to be alive.
And Everyone Has Something That Gets Them Off
Avid self-pleasure professionals (and amateurs) have blazed a trail for us and it leads all the way from the old-school techniques to the future of fucking and beyond. The kinds of experiences the average man or woman can now have are astonishing compared to the relatively boring sessions of yesteryear. At MyMasturbation.com, we try to capture that with our exclusive collection of highly detailed stories that are written and shared by people just like me and you. Believe me, you’re not as kinky as you think you are and even if you were, we’ve got something you’d appreciate too.
But Sometimes, It’s Quality Over Quantity
We promise that you’ll find shit worth sharing and it’s not just because of our bulky, throbbing inventory. We offer more than just a bunch of boring anecdotes about how some undereducated chump has found himself through fervent jerking off (unless that’s what you’re into). We’ve got some sophisticated shit up in here, so enter at your own risk. We also won’t have a messy assortment of the typical trash to sift through and we won’t present anything without screening it for quality first. Our meat-beating narratives would make a veteran butcher blush, or at least give him the inspiration he needs for later that night, which is pretty much what we’re going for here.
We Say Reading Is FUNdamental
Whether you’re looking for a large quantity of erotica tales to keep you busy or a diligently curated selection of fetish literature, we’ve got you covered. Our library consists of over 1000 different masturbation and/or sex stories – more fodder than we could use in 10 lifetimes. According to relationship experts, simply reading about erotic situations triggers various reactions in the brain and body. That’s why books like “Fifty Shades of Grey” have done so well with the genera public. In fact, the book was eventually turned into a movie yet most people said they enjoyed the print version much better. That just goes to show the value of a well-placed verb.
So, Flex Those Literary Skills and Have Better Sex
Use your ABCs then start losing your motherfucking mind; ain’t that the damnedest thing? Nobody teaches you about that in Kindergarten, but the combination of reading well-written erotica penned by experienced individuals with the use of luxury-grade sex toys can be extremely enticing, even to someone who considers themselves completely dead inside. We have everything from sultry shower scenes, accidental orgasms, and strategically planned rendezvous with intense pleasure products to encounters involving random household objects like curling irons, air jets or ice cubes and manual climaxes in the riskiest of public locations. Since there’s virtually nothing under the sun that mankind hasn’t done to himself or a partner in pursuit of a great O-face, we figured there shouldn’t be anything we don’t cover in pursuit of making our readers horny…we mean happy.
Remember, Variety Is the Spice of Life
Think we’re kidding? Our collection of fetish garb is legendary to put it mildly. It’s like “Dear Penthouse” if that publication had a little more filth and little less humor. But don’t worry because we’ve got humorous content too. Our stories are appropriate for any sexually active or sexually curious adult, whether they’re male, female, gay, straight or somewhere in between it all. Our job isn’t necessarily to entertain or inform only. We like to think we can educate our global audience on the dos and don’ts of masturbation as well. After all, how else is anyone supposed to learn what a Dirty Sanchez is or when/how to use it? It’s about community progress, people.
Take Your Pick, Play with Your Dick
We dare you to peek at our sexy selection of stories to find something that gets your temperature rising. Our contributors have done us all a solid by sharing lush anecdotes about:
- Ejaculation control
- Self-sex in cars, hot tubs and college campuses
- Hands-free stimulation sessions
- Rubber play and prostate milking
- Nipple focus exercises
- Ball torture
- Tantric masturbation
And so, so much more. If you can’t find when you’re looking for on our website, just keep cumming back. Our collection is frequently updated with new and improved adventures so there’s bound to be something that will make you want to play with your dick. You’re welcome.
Get in Where You Fit in at MyMasturbation.com
MyMasturbation.com is meant to be a casual place for men (and women) from all walks of life. It contains funny and serious stories with (mostly) positive undertones. In other words, it’s the most relatable website for erotic literature on the internet. There. We said it.
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