Love Hub! Pornography is one of the most amazing things in the world because it helps us satisfy a constant, primal urge to stimulate our cocks and blast buckets of jizz all over the goddamn place. Sometimes, though, those HD lesbian movies just aren’t enough to make that old, crusty gym sock look appealing anymore. When that happens, it may be time to consider hiring an escort, like one of the broads you’d find on LoveHub.
LoveHub.com was registered back in 2014, but the site took off in late 2019. It took off in a big fucking way, too, and already gets at least a quarter-million visits a month. High traffic numbers are pretty goddamn vital for any escort site. Hopefully, a good portion of those visitors are professional sluts offering their services for sale around the world. I guess I better get in there and take a look around.
Hire a Whore Around the Whole World
I mentioned LoveHub offering up prostitute listings around the world, but there are some caveats to that. While they do have a bunch of listings in the Middle East, you ain’t going to find any in some type of Taliban-infested shithole where they cut off your dick for looking at porno. Obviously, you can’t find hooker listings in corners of the globe where there ain’t any hookers.
There is, however, a huge and glaring hole that a lot of you readers are going to notice immediately. In fact, I bet a bunch of you are going to stop reading this review as soon as you read this next sentence: there are no American escort listings on this website. Yeah, it looks like you Yankees are going to have to find another escort site. Good thing you’re reading this on The Porn Dude!
Other than that, the listings look like they run pretty deep all over the place. The top of the landing page lists Most Popular Locations like Abu Dhabi, Hong Kong, London, Paris, and Singapore. Bang a hooker in Istanbul or pay an escort to smack your balls around in Bahrain.
The rest of the page breaks down the world by continent. North America only has a few listings up north, but they’ve got Mexican listings under Latin America. A surprising number of places are listed in the Middle East, like Riyadh and Kuwait. Hopefully, they’re not secret ISIS honey traps.
Europeans are well-represented at LoveHub, with dozens of cities listed across the continent. They’ve also got a shit ton in Asia, obviously, and a handful in Africa if you find yourself with a serious case of jungle fever. Incidentally, you may want to get vaccinated against dengue fever if you’re going to go bang sluts in some of these countries.
Find a Verified Hooker Tonight
Further down the front page, they show the newest escort listings on the site. I like what I see here, because there is a constant stream of professionals around the world putting listings on the site every day.
Again, I’m surprised by how many Middle Eastern babes are selling their services at LoveHub. This is clearly the place to pay for some strange if you’re in Doha, where a couple of different agencies just posted photos and profiles/listings for some really hot chicks. There’ve also been recent additions this morning from Tel Aviv, Bahrain, Kuwait, and Muscat. There’s even a German dominatrix in Dubai ready to trample you with her huge boots on.
In each city view, babes are listed with thumbnails in the first part of their sexy bio blurb. They’ve got a bunch of search filters at the top of the page, letting you sort the local sluts by rates, nationality, language, and age. They don’t have search filters for specific services, so you’ll have to dig deeper into the listings if you want something really kinky like a fat girl who tells you that you have a small peepee.
The listings look really fucking nice on the site. I was going to tell you more about the escort acronym dictionary in the lower portion of the front page, but I’m totally distracted by all the photos. Each listing has a bunch of photographs of some seriously prime meat. On some escort sites, most of the faces are hidden, but the beautiful ladies on the front page are proudly smiling and showing their fuck-me faces. Likewise, there seems to be no rule against titty shots.
A lot of these chicks look like models, with perfect bodies and professional photography. They look so fucking hot that I’m a bit skeptical. LoveHub seems to anticipate this, and like other escort sites, they do what they can to verify the authenticity. Profiles are listed as verified and unverified at the very top, but ultimately it’s up to you to make sure you don’t get ripped off.
The verification system seems decent, though. I was worried they just charged users a fee to “prove” they exist, so I dug into the FAQ to see what the actual procedure was. Escorts have to send a photograph of themselves holding a piece of paper with the current date and the words “I love Mike”. Now you’ll be forced to wonder about this Mike character every time you pay for the GFE.
No Registration Required for Slut Digits
I had to sign up for an account to read the FAQ, but fortunately, LoveHub doesn’t demand their general users sign up for an account. You’ll need one if you’re an escort hocking your wares, or if you’d like to leave helpful reviews for your fellow Johns. On the other hand, a lot of you are going to like the no-registration scheme here, because it means less of a paper trail for your wife to find after you’ve blown your whole bank account on Asian blowjobs.
Contact information is listed on each profile, without any need to login to unlock anything. That means all you have to do is find a girl and hit her up on WhatsApp, send her a text, or maybe shoot her an email letting you know you want to shoot sperm on her pretty face.
Sometimes prices and services are listed, but that seems to depend largely on the location. That means some of these broads will get lost in the shuffle if you’re sorting your search results by price range. You’ve got to figure; sex work typically falls into a legal gray area almost everywhere. When in doubt, you should try to work these things out with your professional slut before you even meet up.
Speaking of, I did notice that LoveHub doesn’t provide much information about the ins and outs of actually hiring an escort. This could be a way of covering their ass, or could just be laziness on their part. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it’s probably because they’re new. You see the section on a lot of escort sites, and while not entirely necessary, they are helpful to newbies to the world of paid sex. If that’s you, you’ll have to ask Google or check out one of the other escort sites on my list.
Get your BBW to give you a BBBJ or AWO
They may not provide a ton of specific hooker-banging tips, but there is an extensive dictionary of escort acronyms and slang words at the bottom of the front page. Even if you’ve been hammering away at lot lizards for the past few decades, some of these will be new to you.
Make sure to ask your ASP (Adult Service Provider) if She Does AWO, or Anal Sex WithOut protection. If you want to pay to stick your cock in a woman’s mouth, you should find out if she does BBBJs (BareBack BlowJobs), also called Untranslated French. There’s also BBBJTC, giving head without protection to completion, and BBBJTCIM, which is the same, but you get to pop in her mouth. BBBJWF goes on her face, and a glorious BBBJTCNQNS will have her sucking to completion, no quit, no spit.
LoveHub has a great look, and they really have a rich selection of escorts in places around the world. Right now, it looks like Johns in the Middle East will have a ton of fun with this website, but I’d like to see them attract more attention in other places. The site is still young, and it will be nice to see how it grows. There’s no registration required to view the listings or even see contact info, so there’s no harm in seeing if they have any whores listed in your neighborhood.