Signs That Your Husband or Wife is Having an Affair or Cheating
Cheating: it’s been around since the dawn of time. It’s the one thing couples fear most, and it’s the reason why trust is such a valuable commodity when it comes to any relationship.
What are the signs your spouse has been cheating?
Cheating destroys relationships, shatters families, and forever changes lives. It’s often the root cause for divorce, and it can turn a peaceful, happy life completely upside-down without any warning whatsoever.
But is that really true? Can cheating really happen without warning?
Are the signs of a cheater really that invisible? Or are they something that one partner neglects or even refuses to see, even though those signs of infidelity are right out in the open?
If you suspect your husband or wife might be having an affair, it’s something you need to definitively know. The hellish limbo of suspecting and not really knowing for sure can put unnecessary stress and strain on your relationship.
And if it turns out you’re wrong? This can needlessly (and even irrevocably) damage your marriage.
No, whether or not your partner is cheating is something you definitely need to know about. The longer it goes on, the worse off you’ll be. Not only does it put the future of your relationship in jeopardy, but an unfaithful spouse can shatter your own confidence and destroy any future trust you might need to put in someone else.
For these reasons, you need to know exactly where your relationship stands. The signs of cheating can be mostly hidden, but they cannot be buried entirely. No matter how normal things seem on the surface, there will always be signs and signals you can look for when your husband or wife is spending time or sleeping with someone else.
Most Common Signs Your Partner is Having an Affair
Below are some of the more telltale signs that your husband or wife has been unfaithful in some way. The more of these signals your spouse is giving off, the deeper into the affair they might already be.
Your Spouse Starts Hiding or Protecting His or Her Cellphone
Today’s primary form of contact is pretty simple: the cellphone. So if your husband or wife is seeing someone else, chances are they’re using their cellphones to communicate back and forth.
Is your partner keeping their cellphone from you?
If your spouse’s cellphone starts disappearing, it’s a sign he or she is hiding something. Most people will leave their phone on the counter or table once they get home, rather than carry it around the house with them. If this behavior suddenly changes, there’s a good chance there’s something your partner doesn’t want you to see.
To test this, conveniently ‘lose’ your own phone and casually ask your husband or wife to use theirs when making your next phone call. If they always have to dig it out of their deepest pocket, it’s a sign than shouldn’t be ignored.
Another major sign? When your spouse inexplicably turns on the password protection feature of his or her phone, to keep unwanted and prying eyes from seeing their calls or text-messages.
They might tell you it’s because they don’t want to “butt-dial” someone, but if this isn’t a feature they used in the past, it might be something they recently turned on because they’re trying to hide the person they’ve been keeping in contact with.
Your Husband or Wife’s Cellphone Doesn’t Show All Calls or Messages
The next logical step in hiding something on a cellphone is the deletion of phone calls or text-messages. So when you check your partner’s cellphone and find that virtually nothing’s happened all day? It’s a major tell that something’s amiss, and they’re obviously deleting those calls or texts for a very specific (and secretive) reason.
What most people don’t know? That there are ways of undeleting calls and texts, even after they’ve been erased from a cell phone. Learning these undeletion methods and techniques can help uncover a possible affair or cheating spouse.
Your Computer History Looks Suspiciously Clean Lately
Facebook or Email are the next biggest ways two people can keep in touch these days, and if your spouse is secretly seeing or meeting up with someone, chances are good they talk to each other via the computer.
You computer may have a LOT to tell you…
Checking your computer’s history can tell what websites your husband or wife has been spending time on, as well as what pages or Facebook profiles they happened to be looking at on a day-by-day basis.
If this information is missing, it’s because your browser’s history has probably been deleted. The web history can be deleted by hourly, daily, or even a weekly basis, and the lack of ANY history at all should be instantly suspicious if you know that you or your spouse has recently been using the computer.
Email is another important aspect of electronic communication; a cheating husband or wife might carelessly leave behind evidence in their ‘sent’ folder or the recycle bin of their email account. Checking these areas can be informative as well.
And just as with a cell phone, there are ways of undeleting emails or browser history to find out just what websites your spouse has been checking out, and who they may have been talking to.
Your Spouse Starts Working Late Hours or Strange Days
A good chunk of all extra-marital affairs start in the workplace. This is where you’re most vulnerable, because while your husband or wife is off at work you have virtually no idea who they’re seeing, talking to, or interacting with. So when a work relationship turns suddenly romantic? You’ll always be the last to know.
Keep an eye out for a chance in your partner’s work schedule. Is he or she suddenly working late nights? Are they going in early, or at times they never really worked before? Are they suddenly working on Saturday or Sunday, or getting extra hours by going in on their days off?
These are all signs that your ex might be seeing someone from their job. Your husband or wife might be meeting someone under the guise of ‘going in early’ or ‘staying late’. And while this isn’t always the sign that an affair is going on, you shouldn’t be blind to the idea that not all of these are working hours.
Your Partner Talks Excessively About One Person in Particular
When you’re in love it shows, and when you’re infatuated with someone, that shows too. So if your spouse begins seeing someone on the side, without your knowledge? Very often, he or she won’t be able to stop talking about this person.
Listen for an over-abundance of talk about any one person in particular. This would probably be a work colleague or person at the office that your husband or wife never really mentioned before, but suddenly can’t help talking about.
Even if the stories are non-romantic and seem perfectly harmless, the warning sign here is the sudden fixation on this one person. A husband or wife having an affair will unknowingly and unwillingly talk about their lover a LOT more than they really should, as their subconscious desire to talk this person up will override normal behavior.
Your Spouse Starts Making Changes to Their Personal Appearance
Let’s face it – we all grow complacent within a relationship or marriage. As the time to court and impress each other comes and goes, both men and women fall into the familiar pattern of being a lot more casual when it comes to how they look and dress.
So when your spouse starts suddenly changing their appearance in a dramatic and positive way? It could be a sign these changes are for someone other than you.
When having an affair, your husband or wife will want to look and feel their best. They’ll start with new clothes, new hairstyle, a whole new look… by themselves these things don’t mean much, but put them all together and they could point to possible infidelity.
If your wife starts wearing perfume (or your husband cologne) when normally they never do? It’s a distinct possibility they’re smelling nice and looking good for somebody else.
If they’ve gone back to the gym, and it’s not for a new year’s resolution? They could be shaping themselves up to impress another person.
Changes to one’s physical appearance are among the first changes made when courting or chasing someone of the opposite sex. Attracting someone is all about looking good, and if your partner is considering or already involved in an affair, they’ll want to look their best.
These behaviors could all be innocent of course, but when coupled with other signs of cheating they should at least be noted.
Your Husband or Wife Becomes Overly Moody, or Starts Unnecessary Arguments
In one of the last signs that your spouse is cheating, fighting and arguing will become a lot more commonplace. Even worse, your partner will begin picking fights over the smallest and most insignificant reasons, making them seem like a total jerk.
And basically? This is what they want. Your husband or wife is looking to make you angry, so they can push you away mentally, emotionally, and even physically.
As the affair continues, guilt mounts. A lot of times the offending party will deflect that guilt back upon their partner, usually in the form of sudden or unnecessary anger.
If your spouse is seeing someone else, he or she will start looking for more and more “time alone”. This gives them the breathing room to continue the affair, or to run out and see this other person.
Watch for fights that erupt out of seemingly nowhere, so that your husband or wife can ‘storm out’ in dramatic fashion. It could be they’re just looking to get away in order to meet their lover.
Other Signs of Infidelity: How to Catch a Cheating Spouse
The examples above are only some of the warning signs given off when your husband or wife might be having an affair. To learn the rest, be sure to check out this free video.
Remember: marriages can be saved, and they can survive, even after cheating is involved. But nothing good can start to happen until you know for sure whether or not your partner is being unfaithful. The longer you go without knowing, the harder it can be to fix things.